Chris Lakin's blog

Share this post

noticing stomping and other forms of dissociation

chrislakin.substack.com

noticing stomping and other forms of dissociation

Chris Lakin
Jan 18
2
Share this post

noticing stomping and other forms of dissociation

chrislakin.substack.com

As part of my ~meditation journey in the past year, I've started noticing often when I'm stomping in various ways.

By stomping, I roughly mean the making of miscalibrated motions that 1) don't help achieve the goal; and 2) have obnoxious side effects. For example, walking with mistimed amounts of force causes an unnecessarily loud noise.

What I find interesting about noticing when I'm stomping is realizing that I was making this loud, obvious, and miscalibrated motion, but I was completely oblivious to that until just now.

I.e.: How could my previous state of awareness have been so shallow?

More examples that feel related:

  • when I talk to someone, and I'm saying words, but I'm somehow listening to how the other person is listening to me. (I.e. I only notice that I've done this if later I ask myself "how did their body language react to what I said then?" and I realize that I have no recollection.)

  • brushing my teeth with far too much force

  • after I make a movement (e.g. a single repetition of any exercise), sometimes I notice that I lack any recollection of how the movement happened, or what my experience was during the duration of the movement

  • when I stretch my hamstrings and get frustrated at how tight they are— and then I notice myself moving a little bit in the mental direction of trying to 'retaliate' against them

  • when I play with my favorite dog without being present (lol, I thought he wouldn't be able to tell)

  • hm, there may be some kind of analog of this in the times that I ask myself how I'm feeling without being fully invested in knowing the answer

In general, noticing when I'm dissociating (from the present, and often also from my body).

A particular coarseness in my physical and mental movements. A lack of awareness of consequences. A deficiency of care and grace. A certain narrowness in my attention… It all becomes hard not to notice.

if you found this post relatable, consider sharing it

Share

Subscribe for more stuff like this soon

Share this post

noticing stomping and other forms of dissociation

chrislakin.substack.com
Previous
Next
Comments
TopNewCommunity

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2023 Chris Lakin
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing