I notice that receiving praise often feels uncomfortable, and I think I know why: it’s too easily judgmental! (Even if it’s nominally positive!) — Plus…
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Almost everyone I know, myself included, is either lost about knowing what they want, or is denying that they are… Sometimes I find myself caught in a…
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Recently I've realized that communication is a lot more deliberate than I previously thought. What I'll focus on here is that a specific message is…
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If you maintain a blog or substack, consider that you can delete posts that no longer feel resonant to you. I say this as two friends of mine have…
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Earlier this year a friend of mine had a conflict with her partner in which she felt that she couldn’t fully share with him how she was feeling on all…
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Something that took me a long time to understand about meditation is that it's not instrumental. What I mean by this is that if I decide to spend time…
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where I let this idea die in my mind and move on
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I feel like I finally understand the trope of the cryptic Zen master: The obscurity is intentional! And frankly also— unfortunately, wonderfully— this…
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see https://chrislakin.com/kids
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I’ve also found it helpful to collect negative role models: manifestations of a very specific way that you want to not be. When I find such a negative…
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I believe that techniques — for dating; and possibly also for communication, social interaction, and more — are misguided, unproductive, and often…
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A new essay, and updates on my life.